It would be a privilege to die inside your arms
by Valiab
Summary: The one where Bellamy doesn't want to leave for mountain weather and has a pretty damn good reason for it.


After saying a raw "Good luck" to Bellamy, Clarke had returned to the tent Lexa had provided her with, pacing back and forth and regretting her every word. But no, she couldn't afford to be weak. She had to stick to Lexa's words, she was right after all, she needed to stay strong for her people. And Bellamy… well Bellamy right now was her only weakness. But sending him away…, it didn't feel right, it drove her insane at just the thought of him being hurt even in the slightest and it would be all her fault. Just as she was about to start a fight in her head whether to go found him and beg him to stay or not, her tent flap opened and black messy curls made their way in. Bellamy stood a few feet away from her, his eyes dark and hesitant and filled with something else she couldn't quite decipher. She had never seen him like this before, almost vulnerable, you could say.

"Bellamy I…" her voice came out lower than she had planned and she didn't have any idea of what to say. She thought she hadn't come to a decision quite yet but when he came to stop just a few inches away from her, she caught her breath, and suddenly it all seemed crystal clear. So she decided to try again.

"Look, Bellamy, I need to…" He silenced her with a wave of his hand and rested it on her shoulder.

"Princess just let me say what I have to say first, all right?" She grimaced at the nickname; it had been so long since he last called her that. But when it once it was used for mockery, now, there was a certain fondness to it. She nodded slowly letting him continue.

"Thing is I don't want to go to mount weather, not without you. You told me a few days ago that if I went I wouldn't be by myself…"

"And I meant that Bellamy, I did, and…"

"Clarke just let me finish." He dropped his hand from her shoulder and took a step forward being as close to her as possible without actually touching her. He heard her gasp but he tried not to read too much into it.

"Look, I don't know and I don't care of what's going to happen if I leave, but there is a strong chance that I might not make it back. But what you don't understand is that I would rather die protecting you and leaving my last breath on this planet knowing you're safe than being away from you. Truth is it would be a privilege to die next to you, inside your arms instead of being miles away from you not knowing if you're alive. After all, if we are not going to be together I'll be dying every day, every single moment. So either we find another way, or you can come with me, either way we work better as a team, and I promise that I won't let anything bad happen to you."

Bellamy's eyes widened slowly as he suddenly realized what he was proposing. He shifted his weight from one leg to another nervously as he tried to correct himself.

"I…I'm not saying that I think you should risk your life I'm just… oh fuck I just realized how selfish I sounded, I'm sorry I'll go umm…"

It was Clarke's turn to silence him, closing the only distance left between them and pressing a light kiss to his lips. He opened his mouth and answered with such tenderness it made her want to cry. Bellamy wanted to get lost in her taste and warm breath but he realized she wasn't ready for this and, half heartedly, he pulled away locking her in his strong embrace.

"When do we leave?" she murmured against his chest after a moment of silence, taking in his warmth.

Bellamy smiled and whispered into her hair. "Now would be a good time" but despite his words he pressed himself against her harder.

"Do we have five minutes?"

He chuckled and buried his face in the crook of her neck. "Lincoln is saying goodbye to O so I'd say ten"

"Good"

Clarke sighed and left a small kiss on his chest before relaxing into his arms once again. And for the first time in her life she was sure that things would get better. For the first time in her life she was grateful. Grateful for the man who held her like she was the most precious thing in the universe, grateful for his words, grateful that he disobeyed her this time. And so she snuggled a little closer, unwilling to let him go just yet.


End file.
